At 3pm this afternoon my home will be getting visited by my four-year old’s soon to be kindergarten teacher.

The house looks as if the interior was devastated by the world most localized and driest tsunami.

I cleaned the house twice yesterday.

I obviously must clean it again today but at what time do I start cleaning as to finish it in time for the teacher’s visit but not give the children enough time to destroy it again?


And just imagine, at one time I used to contemplate philosophy, science, religion and art…


My mother is coming to town and staying with us for the upcoming Christmas holiday which means it is time for cleaning.

Like really cleaning.

Not just straightening up.

Not just shoving toys in the kids room and forcing the door shut.

Not just finding and throwing away the banana peels and apple cores hidden around the house by the boys.

This is serious dusting, mopping, wiping things down, clearing year old clutter kind of cleaning that takes days to properly accomplish.

The worst part about doing this isn’t the cleaning itself though.

The worst part is after my mother gets here and we let her (as if it’s some sort of privilege) watch the kids for us while we go out, just to come back to a house a few hours later that is somehow so much cleaner that it feels as if we never cleaned the house in the first place.

Because my mother does read this blog I want to make sure she knows this isn’t a complaint about the cleaning itself. By all means, please Mom, exercise that OCD.

No, this is me saying that my children have taken my idea of what clean is and totally fucked it.