One For The New Year

People I know have been asking me recently why I’ve stopped posting. Usually I come up with some bullshit answer like “nothing interesting is happening” or “I’ve been too busy”. Truth be told there are multiple reasons and most have to do with something I’m notoriously uncomfortable with: emotions.

Stupid, stupid emotions.

See, I’ve been avoiding writing anything because I don’t like to talk about feelings. Not real feelings anyway.

I want to write light, funny antidotes about the cute, comical little things my kids do while growing-up. And I want to write light, funny antidotes about the ways kids suck sometimes but it’s all worth it because of…

Well, I guess there’s the problem.

Things have started to feel a lot less light and funny.

I wake up looking forward to bed time. 

I react the same now to one of my children screaming in pain as I do to one of my children laughing hysterically in joy (if you’re wondering, that reaction is indifference (or annoyance depending on how loudly the crying/laughing is)).

I’m morose and generally unpleasant to everyone.

So what I’m trying to say is that I’m becoming, or have become, an unbearable dick.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to read a post written by an unbearable dick. 

But, it is a new year, and as I saw yesterday written over a picture of Robert Downey Jr. rolling his eyes, “It’s Time for that New Year, New Me, bullshit”.

So here’s me taking the first step and admitting that there is a problem, and saying that it’s time for me to start actively trying to stop being so fucking miserable all the time, start writing more often, go fishing more often, stop looking at life like it’s a burden and appreciate it for the love, beauty and all the other mushy emotional shit it provides and maybe lose a few pounds while I’m at it!

And if bootstrapping doesn’t work, there’s always antidepressants.


Liebster Award

liebster2So I got a message from From Timber to Tide yesterday saying “Tag, you’re it! You have just been nominated for the Liebster Blog Award!“.

What!?!?!? I was nominated for something! A blogging something! A blogging AWARD! Finally my obvious greatness has been recognized! I am the greatest! THE GREATEST!!!!!

Then I found out there was a catch: I would have to do a bit of work to get this award.

I hate work.

But I do like awards.

So here is the first bit of work I have to do: Post eleven random facts about myself.

  1. I was fourteen years-old before I realized that squirrel and raccoon was not something in the average persons diet.
  2. If an uptight workaholic, a redneck tugboat captain that parties like he’s at a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert in 1976 the entire time he’s not on a boat, the quintessential crazy cat lady and a closeted effeminate hairdresser all had a hand at raising a child, I would be (and actually am) the result.
  3. Before getting married I could go to a party and just stand quietly in a corner and eventually the hottest girl in the room would see me and decide that she was going to “friend zone” me, “friend zone” me so hard that it would hurt.
  4. Centipedes freak me out. I can’t even look at them.
  5. I will always think that a redfish’s proper name is a spottail bass.
  6. I know next to nothing about team sports.
  7. I sometimes keep and eat the fish I catch. Sinful but true.
  8. I spent years making fun of my wife for her love of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Then I watched Buffy and now I’m a huge Joss Whedon fan.
  9. I thought coming up with eleven facts about myself would be easy. I was wrong.
  10. I spent two summers living in the woods with the Rainbow Family of Living Light.
  11. During those summers I slept beside some of the most renowned trout streams in the western United States. I didn’t fish.

Now for the second part: answer the eleven questions asked by the person who nominated you.

  1. What’s your favorite holiday tradition/memory? – My wife’s family has steak for Christmas dinner. It’s a new tradition for me but I really like steak.
  2. Sex or sleep? – Sex of course.
  3. What is on top of your pizza (when you’re not forced to order what the kids like)? – Pepperoni, mushrooms and anchovies.
  4. What’s your proudest moment? – I want to say that it was when I first became a father but actually it was yesterday when I spelled “segue” properly without looking it up or anything.
  5. Name the one song that you can hear that makes everything better and right in the world? – Black Water by The Doobie Brothers.
  6. When’s the last time you fell in love?  Success or failure? – It was with my wife and so far it’s been a giant success.
  7. Explain you, in five words or less. – No.
  8. Name the best place you have ever swam. – A cold spring known as the “Blue Hole” that is in the middle of a swamp deep within the Francis Marion National Forest.
  9. What do you really think about Tom Cruise? – That motherfucker is nuts.
  10. If you could dispel one myth about your specific gender, what would it be? – That guys only think about sex. Personally I think about fishing and food as much as I think about sex.
  11. What’s your least favorite part of being a grown up? – Anything I do that is the least bit hip seems somewhat sad and sort of pathetic now.

So now I pick eleven other bloggers to award with the Liebster Award. My research said that I’m suppose to award up and coming blogs or blogs with less than 200 followers. Most of the following blogs do not fit within those parameters.

  1. G0ne Fishin9
  2. How Small a Trout
  3. Flies Over Nebraska
  4. Memoirs of a Flygirl
  5. A Happy Mess
  6. Ramblings of a Madwoman
  7. Shes a ManiYak

And it appears that there will only be seven of them because it seems I follow mostly blogs that have way too many followers.

I’m such a sheep.

Alright, now the last part, if the seven above are willing to participate, here are eleven questions to answer:

  1. What’s your favorite dish?
  2. If you could be any animal for a day what would it be and why?
  3. What made you want to start blogging?
  4. What will be your weapon of choice be in the up coming zombie apocalypse?
  5. If you fly fish what’s your favorite fly and if you don’t fly fish (or fish at all) why?
  6. What’s your favorite body of water?
  7. What Star Wars character would you be?
  8. Dog, cat or other?
  9. Fill in the blank- Your momma so dumb __________.
  10. If you had to lose one of your five senses which one would it be?
  11. If you could meet any famous person, alive or dead, who would it be?

Alright, I think that’s it.