Rent-a-Baby

Today I noticed that the little baby has an infatuation with women he doesn’t know.

And not just any women.

No, he tries to pick out the most attractive stranger in a crowd.

He’ll find said random female, walk in front of her, look up and smile at her until he gets a reaction.

If I pull him away he’ll go right back.

If she has her back turned he’ll pull on her skirt/pants/shirt until she turns around so he can stare up at her and smile.

If this person decides to leave the area he will then look for and find another attractive woman to do this to.

I am a very happily married man and find this behavior to be awkward and annoying at best.

I do have single friends though.

And could use some extra cash…

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19 comments on “Rent-a-Baby

  1. We noticed the same phenomena when our boys were babies. Combine this social, huh, aggression (?) with babies inability to recognize, hmmm, propriety (?) in terms of people’s bodies (and by that, I mean they stick their hands up skirts), and you’re lucky the target of his affection hasn’t whacked you one. An even better reason to rent baby out. Or at least warn target.

  2. OK, one more thought. As a waitress in college, I had to wear a skirt. A short skirt. Babies in high chairs seemed to know the exact right time to run their hand up my skirt. The worst cases usually included a hand loaded with applesauce or something equally squeal-worthy. Happy times ahead for you and the waitresses. 🙂

  3. Marc Fauvet says:

    do you have a gopro ?

  4. Hahahaha…. Any serious offers? Too funny.

  5. My brother experienced the same thing… with his twin boys. Double the effect 😉 What concerns me is my little daughter start doing this? Will I become one of those mum’s trying to explain to harassed women/men that my little girl is just ‘being friendly’? And if babies only do this with women… well that in itself raises a whole list of issues! Thankfully she is only 4 months so I have time to plan my response!

    • Hi Isabella! All you can say is sorry. They usually smile and laugh and think its funny. See my post below. It will be get worse. Sorry! But they grow out it and we’re luckier than the dads. Women don’t assume moms are using their kids to hit on them. Sorry agitatedangler! Dads get a bad rap in this arena.

      • agitatedangler says:

        How do you train a baby to do this though?!?! It’s like herding cats. It just can’t be done!

    • agitatedangler says:

      I wouldn’t worry too much. Most people take it pretty well. It doesn’t get REALLY awkward until your 13 year old starts doing it. 😉

  6. I had the same thing with my daughter’s. It was pretty awkward during my oldest daughter’s boob fascination phase. She went up to a lady in the hair salon and started touching them while the woman was getting shampooed…and kept going back. Maybe because they’re girls women think its funny. While you are mortified, they think its cute.

  7. attyguide says:

    Haha wow! That is something really amazing which you noticed. I am single so I can’t say anything about relating to this experience as yet 😀
    However, being a writer and majoring in Psychology, I am now interested in further exploring this topic: D Although there are terms and phases proposed by Freud, this aspect looks quite appealing.

    Check my blog for writing help: attyguideblog.wordpress.com

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