Rent-a-Baby

Today I noticed that the little baby has an infatuation with women he doesn’t know.

And not just any women.

No, he tries to pick out the most attractive stranger in a crowd.

He’ll find said random female, walk in front of her, look up and smile at her until he gets a reaction.

If I pull him away he’ll go right back.

If she has her back turned he’ll pull on her skirt/pants/shirt until she turns around so he can stare up at her and smile.

If this person decides to leave the area he will then look for and find another attractive woman to do this to.

I am a very happily married man and find this behavior to be awkward and annoying at best.

I do have single friends though.

And could use some extra cash…

Team Work

I really should be proud that they’ve started working together as opposed to fighting all the time.

And I should be impressed with how clever the plan was.

Because it was clever.

Oh so, so clever.

But the end result, well… I wasn’t pleased.

Everyone else; kids, wife, friends, visiting Nana, they thought it was hysterical.

They thought it was so damn funny…

But when one of your children, your own flesh and blood, the fruit of your battered loins nut punches you just so you’ll double over in pain long enough for another of your despicable brood to shove a spit wetted finger in your ear and shout “wet willy!” at you as you try not to throw-up from the pain…

That’s just…

That…

I mean…

Man…

Just…

Fuck that kind of team work!