For the last two weeks my children have been swapping illnesses like 1970’s swingers swapping partners (and maybe the way they also swapped illnesses. I don’t know really, but that lifestyle seemed like a breeding ground (( Ha!)) for infectious diseases.).
Anyway, it all started with my oldest complaining about a sore throat Monday before last. That turned into a nasty…
It started with my wife.
She was sick first.
Then my oldest had a sore throat that turned into a cough with a fever.
And then the baby got sick, which I posted about already. But I only posted about the intestinal part. Because after that the baby started running a high fever and that lasted for almost two days.
The moment the baby’s fever broke for good, Demon Spawn projectile vomited all over the house. The vomiting lasted for a full day before he started to run a high fever.
This also incidentally caused me to miss a chance to go fish a new river and gave me the time to put together some cheap, flat packed Swedish furniture. (As a side note: FUCK YOU Ikea. Fuck you so fucking hard and your stupid fucking vague directions that are never quite right. And why the fuck do y’all insist upon putting extra hardware in all the bags? It’s just to make me think I did some thing wrong isn’t it? ISN’T IT!?!?!?! Once again: FUCK-YOU-IKEA!)
Then the baby started hacking and his nose started running.
And after his first day back in school after being absent for four days my oldest started running a fever.
This caused us to visit the pediatrician to get an excuse for my oldest’s absences but the pediatrician, who spoke to me as if I was an idiot and told me nothing I didn’t know already, would only give him an excuse for one day because he (the pediatrician not my oldest son) is a prick. We are currently looking for a new pediatrician.
On top of all this there has been little to no sleep for me and my wife, my second laptop in three months was destroyed (I’m typing this on my wife’s work computer) and my house now seems to have a permanent smell reminiscent of what you would think vomit’s poop would smell like.
It’s been a rough couple of weeks.