I’ve tried traditional punishments.
I’ve tried reasoning with them.
I’ve tried denying them things.
I’ve tried incentives.
I’ve tried a more active lifestyle with more stimulation.
I’ve tried a calmer, less stimulating lifestyle.
But my oldest is still ADD addled, impulsive and prone to explosive meltdowns and my now four year-old child, Demon Spawn, is still contrary and stubborn.
So, I’m going to try the hands off approach. I’m going to love them, feed them, clothe them and keep a roof over their heads but other than that I’m going to leave them be, just see what happens. And maybe I can go full on hippy with it and try to find some weed (I think I might still know a guy) and just sit back and be pleasantly baked all day while my children bring about the kinds of chaos that only exists in the fever dreams of the most dedicated of anarchist.
This seems like a great plan. And at the very least I’ll be much more chill…