My wife and I were asked to write a letter about my oldest son to be read aloud in class due to him being this weeks “Star Student”. My wife made me write the letter because of “you write stuff”. So I found myself tasked with writing something for a bunch of seven and eight year-olds.
The following is what I came up with. (I changed my son’s name to Lloyd to protect his identity and because of this.)
A Brief History of Lloyd Blah Blah Blah
Lloyd was born early, really, really early on the morning of June 7, 2005 in Brooklyn, NY. His parents had been up the previous 48 hours before this birth occurred due to what is known as labor, which is what they call all the stuff that happens to the mom so she can have a baby, and were very, very tired when he was finally out in the world. The next day after Lloyd’s parents had a bit of sleep they were very excited about their brand new baby boy.
Lloyd spent the next six months of his life doing the things babies do when they live in New York City: riding the subway, going to the park, taking long rides in the stroller, listening to people screaming at each other in the streets, waking up in the middle of the night every time a siren blared from the firehouse down the street, eating, pooping, crying and other assorted baby like things. Lloyd and his parents quickly grew tired of life in New York. So they moved to Rome, GA.
Rome, GA was terribly boring. So they moved to Lloyd’s parents hometown of Charleston, SC.
In Charleston, Lloyd and his family lived in a bottom floor apartment of a huge and very old house near the center of the city. During this time Lloyd spent lots of time taking walks with his mom, playing in playgrounds and exploring the many old and interesting graveyards scattered around the city. Lloyd also spent a lot of time with his dad near the old city market where he got to help take care of the big horses that pulled the tourist that visited the city around on carriages.
Living in this bottom floor apartment in this big, old house is where Lloyd finally started talking at the age of three (and hasn’t stopped talking since) and where he was living when his brother Demon Spawn was born. Lloyd and his family were very happy living in this place and once, somewhat famously, Lloyd’s dad said that he wouldn’t move from where they were living “until something terrible happens”. Not long after Lloyd’s dad said that the big, old house burnt down…
But Lloyd and his family were helped by lots of great people and moved to another house in Charleston where they lived happily for a few more years until Lloyd’s mom got a job as a school librarian in Rock Hill, SC.
Rock Hill was very exciting for Lloyd because this is where he started going to school, where his other little brother The Baby was born and, as far as Lloyd and his family can tell, will be a place that they will stay for a long time.
So I asked “Lloyd” what he and the class thought of the letter.
“We liked the part with the poop.”