I made a huge mistake over the Thanksgiving holiday: I stepped on a scale.
Now, as everyone should know, this is the wrong time of year to weigh yourself, but the scale was there in the bathroom and I decided to give it a spin. And it kept spinning, and spinning, and settled on the highest number I’ve ever seen on a scale that I’ve been standing on. I should have known it wouldn’t be good because I had to lean forward to peer over my gut to see the number. I mean, I’m a stocky guy so I’m used to higher than average numbers on a scale but this, this took my “just a big dude” status and took it into the realm of washing myself with a rag on a stick.
Under normal circumstances I would have accepted that it’s holiday weight and I should just wait until after Christmas and its cookies, candies, cakes and all the rest of the tasty hard to resist food that comes with it, but I have a fishing trip planed for the Keys in April and all the fishing will be done out of my kayak; which I now weigh more than its maximum weight capacity.
Seriously. I’m now too fat for my boat…
So I’m now on a diet.
Very few to no carbs.
No rice, gravy or fried foods.
This better be the best fishing trip of my life.