My three year-old, Demon Spawn, has a very peculiar eating habit: he will only eat food from other people’s plates.
I don’t know why he does this. Maybe it tastes better. Maybe he thinks that other people have different, better food that just looks and smells exactly like the food on his plate. Maybe he thinks we’re trying to poison him.
I think he only eats other people’s food because he takes the most profound delight in the act of denying others of things they enjoy.
And it’s not just the food of others; toys, TV shows, peace, quiet, calm, happiness, he wants to deny all these things to people.
His brother picks up a toy, that’s the toy he wanted to play with.
If Demon Spawn wants to watch a show and his big brother says “Yes, I would also like to watch that show”, Demon Spawn freaks the fuck out and demands a different show.
If I want to do anything, anything at all that I might enjoy, well…
I’m pretty sure the child is pure evil.