The baby doesn’t want me to do either of the above.
I’m not allowed, as far as the baby is concerned, to do anything involving anything.
Well, that’s not exactly true. I can sit quietly in the recliner awaiting the moment that he demands the use of my lap for milk and naps. I am allowed to do that.
I’m not allowed to stand at all. That is standing to clean, to cook, to make his highness a fresh bottle, to get up to go to the bathroom, ect..
Sitting is also a problem if while in that position I seem as if I’m accomplishing things.
If I do have the audacity to attempt things or stuff I get screamed at for the duration of time those things or stuff take.
If my reaction to the screaming is not sufficient he grabs my leg and bites me until I take notice. I now have no beard due to him exhibiting this behavior during a routine facial hair trim.
I seem to be living beneath the drool covered iron fist of a tiny tyrant…
And there’s nothing I can do about it.