A Week of Halloween Hell

It started last Wednesday when my wife brought home the costumes.

“Look Daddy! I’ma Mario, I’ma gonna win!”

“Daddy, It’s a me, Luigi!”

“Dum dum dum da-dum da-dum, da-da da-da da-da dum da-dum da-dum! Did you hear Daddy!?! The Mario theme! Daddy, Daddy, did you here!?! DUM DUM DUM…”

“Look Daddy, a Koopa. I’ll jump on it!”

“OW! Daddy! He called me a Koopa and jumped on me!”

Thursday we hid the costumes.

Friday we went out and got decorations and pumpkins and apple cider and we told the kids that we were going to carve pumpkins and decorate on Saturday and the kids cried and fussed and asked why we couldn’t do it “NOW!” and they wanted to decorate “NOW!”.

Saturday I went and got a bottle of good dark rum to spike my apple cider with.

Sunday we broke out the costumes so we could head to the local renaissance fair for their Halloween weekend festivities, which was sort of like a drug free, candy filled Dead show if the show was held in a village deep within the boundaries of the Nerdling Realm.

Monday was more costume mayhem, but this time fueled with candy acquired from the ren fair.

Yesterday was pretty quiet.

That brings us to today, All Hallows Eve.

The morning started with confusion regarding the rules about my oldest wearing that fucking Mario costume to school, but we managed a compromise that made sure no one was happy and sent him off.

Since waking up my middle child has asked me once every five minutes if it’s trick-or-treat time yet.

And the baby has a case of the poops that has caused him to scream as if he’s been passing razor blades all morning.

I’m not sure what the future holds for the rest of this day but I’m guessing it will include more tears, poop and possibly some vomit.

Happy Halloween.



2 comments on “A Week of Halloween Hell

  1. I’m sorry, i had to laugh…Did you survive it???? Is the baby ok?

  2. agitatedangler says:

    Survival rate was 100%, baby was better by mid-afternoon and trick-or-treating went off without a hitch.
    I’m queasy today from collecting the household candy tax though…

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